he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
