I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
