If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize