For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
