The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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