I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize