he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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