Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
