I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
