yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
