As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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