I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
