YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
