that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
