I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
