spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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