giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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