Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
being pregnant is like rehab
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
