it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
