If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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