For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
