I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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