He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am available for nakedness
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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