i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
