O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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