i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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