Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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