Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
