Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
