dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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