i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
