I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
