Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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