If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There r osticjed everywhere
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
