If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
