Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
