I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
