you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
