This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
