I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
