Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Randomize
