She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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