Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
