absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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