Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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