therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
