Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
