I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
