I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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