Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize