Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize