i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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