Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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