I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
