woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
