Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
