This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize