Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize