I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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