Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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