I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
