So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
