You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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