i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
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My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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