his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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