How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
