So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
