We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
