I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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