ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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