I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
